No wire hangers, ever! Just Call me Mommy Dearest?
I was reading Christi's blog this morning and I cannot get it out of my head. I do think it's so special that her girl is happy with the return of the long, lost Bonita. I began to think back to when Nikki's son lost his beloved "dog dog" in Auckland.
They lost him in the mall and even went back the next day to find it. (A 2 hour trip via car each way) They spent I don't know how much money on replacement dogs hoping that would make him happy. In the end they finally found a replacement on the net that they had shipped from the USA. Plus the original did manage to get back to them, a miracle if you ask me because someone found it in K-mart and mailed it to her. How nice is that?
I remember thinking to myself after the adventures of dog dog, that I must be terrible because I wouldn't have drove back to Auckland just for a stuffed animal. Maybe it's because my little guys aren't attached to anything. Madelynn chooses what she wants to sleep with each night and it changes depending on her mood. Aidan has taken to a blanket but he only wants it in his crib and I don't take it out of there.
I read about Bonita and I wonder to myself again "Am I a mean mom?" I just wouldn't search high and low for one to replace. It just would never cross my mind. I guess I'm wondering to myself too, are we not teaching our kids about "loss"?
Christi, when you read this and I know you will :-) I'm just mostly wondering if I'm lacking as a parent because I wouldn't have done what you and Nikki have done. I'm not trying to offend, just sort out what's in my head.
posted by Michelle @ Friday, November 10, 2006
3 Comments:
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you kids aren't really attached to anything. I think if they were, you would feel differently about it. Because you would see the look of complete sadness on their face and you would probably want to do anything to make them happy again. If your kids aren't attached to any particular toys then they probably wouldn't be so sad if they lost one, KWIM? Mine are pretty attached to their special things, and would be heartbroken if they were lost. Tyler has his Buzz Lightyear and Ethan has a few special toys he has had since he was little.
I think some kids don't get really attached to their toys. Which could be a good thing!! I know with Tyler's blankie we had to get another one and cut it in half so there was never a moment he has to be without it!! Luckily he doesn't insist on taking it out of the house, but even just needing to wash it can be a nightmare!!
You're not a bad mom. You just haven't had that experience, and can't see yourself having it. But I'm sure in many other ways you would do anything for your kids, and that's pretty much the same thing that Christi did.
Ah, Michelle! Ditto, what Hannah said. I just think you haven't had the experience, that's all. Think about what if something happened and Aiden's blanket wasn't in his bed? For whatever reason. You would probably do everything in your power to get a new one or something that would help him. I remember driving to Albany (about 20 minutes) looking for Kamryn's damn blanket when she was just over 2!!! And it was at the house the whole time! And I'm telling ya too, if you had seen the look on Kamryn's face when Hugh couldn't get her back, man, it broke my heart in a million pieces. I reckon that is the same way you would feel too if your babies lost something special and close to them. Also if it hadn't been something Kamryn was particularly attached to then I wouldn't have bothered. She would have had to realize that she left/lost it. Driving down the road the other day I threw something out the window because she kept hitting Lauryn with it. Didn't go and get it back either lol.
No offense taken either. I am trying to teach Kamryn about loss when it comes up. She has been witness to Hugh burying one of our rabbits. She obviously doesn't get it but I do want her to know it exists. I even let them carry around some dead bunnies the other day lol. Ok, so maybe that wasn't healthy lol. ROFL!!!
You are a fabulous mother. And you would do anything for your kids. You just haven't had to yet ;) But the day will come and you will know that you would move walls to stop the sadness.
It is absolutely heart wrenching to see your child soooooooooooo sad over something...I mean it's almost like they lost their mother or something :) And in my mind, if I can fix it, I will.
But I think Hannah hit it on the head that your kids haven't had that attachment. My youngest doesn't and I don't worry if something gets lost. But, my oldest? OMG, it was a tragedy if anything ever happened to Ollie. And I've been known to go back several places (not 2 hours drive though) to get the beloved stuffed animal back. Maybe that's my selfishness too because he couldn't sleep without him!
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